Aha!

So Greta Thunberg is a much smarter cookie than we thought– After years of denial suddenly we are now in a ‘Climate Emergency’! Corporations are rushing to De Carbonise everything & anything they can think of. There’s “Money in them tha hills”

‘Microsoft’s newest ‘moonshot’ would make it carbon negative by 2030 – and eventually remove all of the carbon it has emitted since it was founded in 1975 from the environment’ – Really!

So if your new PC arrives with a big pipe coming out the back and Carbon Dioxide Monitoring Software don’t be surprised.

This all seems very promising doesn’t it? No not really China has just announced it will be using more coal – digging more coal mines and  building more coal powered generating stations…

Aha so that’s a ‘score draw’ Planet Earth= 1 Insanity= 1

Meanwhile back at the ranch- Ford have just revealed their new prototype ‘totally Eco friendly car’


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Prince Harry Flies The Nest

Prince Harry & Wife Meghan have decided that they wish to redefine their role within the UK’s Royal family. They said that they planned to split their time between the UK. and North America, while “continuing to honour our duty to the queen, the Commonwealth, and our patronages,” according to a post on their new website. They wish among other things to be financially independent.

However It is reported Prince Charles will still pay 95% of Meghan Markle and Harry’s costs despite their wish for ‘financial independence ‘

 Senior royals may have been surprised by Duke & Duchess of Sussex’s announcement but plans were being made as long ago as last summer it is reported. Applications to trademark their brand “Sussex Royal”for a range of goods and activities were lodged with UK intellectual property authorities last June!

As yet nobody knows what these goods and activities may be- The Funny Books Blog has come up with a few viable suggestions below……..

  

 I actually am a big fan of Prince Harry & Meghan – mindful of his Mother’s fate I cannot say I wouldn’t do the same…. (Harry’s mother, Princess Diana, died in a car accident while trying to escape the paparazzi in Paris in 1997.)

 

So good luck and well done Dad!

 

Robo Warden

Westminster Council London Unveil their NEW Automated Traffic Warden

 

A spokesperson said “ Our Wardens were sick of the abuse they receive from the general public & will be assigned other roles in the council once the new system is fully operational”

“The new robot wardens will be impervious to abuse, amour piercing shells and anything else you care to throw at them! “

The Council deny claims that they are over zealous in their issuing of Parking Fines simply using it as a money making scheme.

They also deny that the new robot wardens are in any way intimidating.

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To Boldly Go

 

‘HAPPY NEW YEAR!’

 

‘To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before’

 Warning this blog contains technical stuff- if you are looking for farting jokes or similar please go to Reddit…....

 I love Star Trek always been a big fan- they show the original series on the ‘Horror’ Channel in the UK ‘ Fascinating’ They seem to be able to fly the Enterprise with what looks like a few switches and light bulbs from the local hardware store… Wonderful stuff- some good stories though.

Warp Drive

Distances in space are so vast that astronomers usually measure them in light-years, the distance light can travel in a year’s time. A single light-year equals about six trillion miles. So an essential part of kit is the beloved Warp Drive.

 In the “Star Trek” universe, warp speed is accomplished through the use of a warp drive. The warp drive is powered by matter-antimatter reactions, which are regulated by a substance called dilithium. This reaction creates highly-energetic plasma known as electro-plasma, a type of matter with its own magnetic field, which reacts with the starship’s warp coils. The warp coils are typically enclosed in what the “Star Trek” writers call a warp nacelle. The whole package creates a “warp field” or “bubble” around the Enterprise, allowing the ship and its crew to remain safe while space manipulates around them. Interesting stuff a?

However Einstein’s theory of relativity states nothing can move faster than the speed of light? Also at the speed of light you would age much less, if so at  Warp Factor    9.6  1,909 times light speed who knows, you might leave age 43 and come back as a new born baby!

The Aliens

 I love the Aliens in Star Trek Thousands of light years from Mother Earth you would think communication would be difficult- there is a device called a Universal Translator but fortunately all the Aliens can speak English! Normally with an American accent which is handy…..that plus the fact they are mostly humanoid i.e. like us, more or less. Of course they might look a bit like a lizard- or otherwise unpleasant to the eye! It also goes without saying they might have two hearts, green blood, three livers, telepathic powers or whatever.

There is no reason extraterrestrial beings should not be as small as an Ant or 100 meters tall is there? Other than the films would look bloody ridiculous-

More Space News

Space X

SpaceX has launched 120 of a planned 12,000 small broadband satellites into low Earth orbit. The company is placing its first 1,584 satellites in a 550-kilometer orbit, with later satellites planned for higher and lower altitudes.

ACME CEO Mark Gutterpuke comments: “ This is an ambitious project, which may have the added bonus of helping with the Global Warming problem. Such a large number of Satellites may well block out sunlight from reaching the planets surface. Thus reducing overall temperatures. However there may be a point in the future when the same creates a new Ice Age! Additionally future space missions will be hampered by having to navigate their way through into deep space.

Crisis At Christmas

 

 

” Billionaire Heiress Tamara Ecclestone Loses £50 Million Worth Of Jewellery In Robbery”

 

 

Homeless man Fred Smith said ” I was gutted to hear about the robbery- Me and some of the lads at the Homeless Shelter will be holding a collection after our Salvation Army Xmas dinner- it won’t raise much- but it’s the thought that counts” “God Bless Tamara”

Safe Hands?

 

Boris Johnson wins UK election…………………………

Thanks be to God the UK is now in safe hands- the Trump & Johnson team united in creating a land ‘Fit for Heroes’ our pockets lined with Dollar bills from the pending US/UK trade deal.

 I remain unconvinced so my money is going Off Shore-ASAP & preferably to somewhere well above sea level- sorry Cayman Islands!

Authors favorite posts…..!!
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“Sweet Dreams Darling”

 

 

“Of course it isn’t going to end darling. It will just be a bit different in the future. Some of those cute little islands we saw in the Atlas the other day won’t be there in the new Atlas. And our house will be much nearer the seaside. You like the seaside don’t you? And in some countries the weather will be a bit funny that’s all.

If you are still scared in the morning I can ask Uncle Donald to talk to you, he doesn’t think there is anything to worry about. And even if he did I’m sure all those nice people from the UN can make it better again. And in the meantime we could write to Father Christmas he always knows what’s best doesn’t he?”

Sweet dreams darling XX

mommysays.com

UK Winter Election News

Despite the bad weather Prime Minister Johnson is determined to carry on campaigning on the doorstep. The last UK Winter Election was in 1923 – so the forthcoming Election is quite a rare event.

Also unprecedented The Funny Books Blog has learnt Polling Stations will be serving Hot Chocolate to the elderly- as well as offering tips on how to stay warm.

Additionally the NHS will be be setting up a Hotline Telephone service in selected stations to give advice to people turning up to vote with Frostbite.

In yet another unusual move it has been suggested voters unable to grip the pencil to mark the voting form due to frozen fingers should grip the pencil in their mouths- “A cross is a cross no matter how it is made” a spokesperson said!

So “Let’s get the job done”

Pic above “Another familiar face on the campaign trail”

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